{"product_id":"i-love-you-so-much-its-killing-us-both-mariah-stovall-paperback","title":"I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both -- Mariah Stovall, Paperback","description":"\u003cstrong\u003eSusan Choi's \u003ci\u003eTrust Exercise\u003c\/i\u003e meets Nick Hornby's \u003ci\u003eHigh Fidelity\u003c\/i\u003e in a Black woman's coming-of-age story, chronicling a life-changing friendship, the interplay between music fandom and identity, and the slipperiness of sanity\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eSet in the suburbs of Los Angeles and New York City, \u003ci\u003e I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both\u003c\/i\u003e is an immersive journey into the life and mind of Khaki Oliver, who's perennially trying to disappear into something: a codependent friendship, an ill-advised boyfriend, the punk scene, or simply, the ether. These days it's a meaningless job and a comfortingly empty apartment. Then, after a decade of estrangement, she receives a letter from her former best friend. Fiona's throwing a party for her newly adopted daughter and wants Khaki to join the celebration. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eKhaki is equal parts terrified and tempted to reconnect. Their platonic love was confusing, all-consuming, and encouraged their worst impulses. While stalling her RSVP, Khaki starts crafting the perfect mixtape--revisiting memories of formative shows, failed romances, and the ups and downs of desire and denial--while weighing the risks and rewards of saying yes to Fiona again. \u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eOne song at a time, from 1980s hardcore to 2010s emo, the shared and separate contours of each woman's mind come into focus. Will listening to the same old songs on repeat doom Khaki to a lonely life of arrested development? Or will hindsight help her regain her sense of self and pave a healthy path for the future, with or without Fiona?\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAuthor:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mariah Stovall\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePublisher:\u003c\/strong\u003e Soft Skull\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePublished:\u003c\/strong\u003e 2\/18\/2025\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 336\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBinding Type:\u003c\/strong\u003e Paperback\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 0.75 lbs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8.2\" H x 5.4\" L x 1\" W\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eISBN:\u003c\/strong\u003e 9781593767938\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Flowerburst","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50772730904880,"sku":"9781593767938","price":17.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2712\/8368\/files\/9781593767938_dc29bfbc-e3bf-4bec-a741-714e30546425.jpg?v=1775348509","url":"https:\/\/flowerburst.co\/products\/i-love-you-so-much-its-killing-us-both-mariah-stovall-paperback","provider":"Flowerburst","version":"1.0","type":"link"}